10 weeks old today. Which means that you are almost out of the "dreaded" newborn phase of the first 3 months. Well, I say "dreaded" only b/c society labels the first 3 months as the really rough time, where parents are physically and mentally exhausted and kids are exceptionally demanding and tough to deal with. But truthfully kids, these first 10 weeks have been pretty darn wonderful for us. I mean, let's face it- you kids are perfect which makes it soooo much easier :-) But it's really more than that.
I have been thinking a lot lately about the advice or warnings and such that I was given before you came. So, so, so many people told me how essentially horrible and difficult it was going to be in these first few months. I was told to prepare myself and brace myself and we were warned enough that your dad and I were actually a bit nervous! I was told over and over about how people "couldn't imagine" how I'd deal with two babies since one had almost done them in. I'd been told about how I "shouldn't worry- b/c it gets much better around 3-4 months". And it's not only what I'd been told- I'd seen it too! Almost all of my friends who had children already truly did suffer through those first months. I would see them bleary-eyed and grumpy, talking about their how demanding their kids were, yadda, yadda. So your dad and I used to joke that our goal for the first 3 months was just "to keep you alive" ;-) We pretty much expected to be exhausted and miserable and praying for that 3 month mark to pass. But wow, did we have the (most wonderful) surprise of our lives in you two! You have been a total joy for us since the day you were born and ever since. Sure there are sleepy nights when I wish you would just forget about food for a few hours. And yes, particularly you, Meera, have some cranky moments in life. But they are overwhelmingly outweighed by all of the good times. The times when I am laughing so hard at something funny you did, or when my heart is squeezing with that indescribable parent love, or when I think about your long life to come and feel so lucky to be mother through your journey. Overall, I find myself constantly perplexed at all of the warnings and grumblings we got from others. How could they not relish this time with their little ones? I feel bad that people don't stop to enjoy their babies more. Because frankly your babyhood is fleeting - it is passing by in a nanosecond. I'm just grateful that your dad and I are stopping to smell those dirty diapers...uh, I mean roses, when it comes to you two. I think we have the better deal!
Some things about your newborn-ness that melt me:
- those little squeaks and grunts
- your skinny little limbs, only just now starting to get some real meat (esp. you, Max)
- the way we marvel at the tiniest accomplishments, like being able to hold your head up, or track movement with your eyes
- the first smiles... oh, the power you have over us with them! we will turn ourselves into the biggest idiots on the planet to try to coax one of those out of you
- the burritos you become in your swaddles!
- your soft downy hair that you are only just starting to develop
- how you smell of milk and sweetness
- your smallness. oh, how you fit in our arms. so tiny and yet such a huge presence in our hearts and lives.
I know you are on the brink of leaving this newborn phase and I am excited for the active babies you will become. But there is sadness too, for how fast this has passed by. For how you will never again be so small and so helpless and so squeaky and so instinctual and so... sigh.
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